Words of Advice From a Father

As my eldest daughter has left home, I wanted to just give her a few pieces of advice in an email.  Here is some of what I wrote to her:

No matter how much someone craps on you, look them back in the eye, smile at them and tell them in a sweet voice that you care for them in some way.  In other words, kill them with kindness.  BUT if the relationship does not seem to be getting better, know when to cut your losses and move on in life.  Some people are hard to befriend and life is too short to dredge on with trying to establish a relationship with them.  But be sure that any bridge you decide to burn will not come back to bite you later in life.

We only have one life to live so live it honorably and be respectful of the people around you.  Always look out at the traffic passing you by and reflect on how each car has a person with their own lives, troubles and blessings.  This will keep you from feeling alone in the hard world you are about to venture out into. 

Take time to reflect on yourself, try to look inward when something does not go the way you want it to. Learn how to take criticism from yourself and others, but learn not to doubt your instincts as this is your most powerful tool.

Choose your heroes and peers wisely and look for positive mentoring from them. Surround yourself with the people that you feel you would like to be, as this will be positive reinforcement on who you will become.

With that always remember that God gave you two ears, two eyes and one mouth.  Listen and read more than you talk.  Listen to what people are saying and take in everything around you.  Try to never miss out on things that go on around you as you might miss that split second in time that will turn your life for the better or worse. 

Although its comforting to read fantasy literature, balance your reading out with non-fiction, educational and motivational information.  Always, always try learn something new, because if you ever feel like you know everything, then you really don't know much.

Broaden your vocabulary.  It has been found that the more words a person knows and use in their vocabulary the more successful they will be in life (silly but true). Try to stay away from sailor talk and learn to use un-offensive words to make your point.

And finally, learn from your past mistakes and acknowledge your successes.  We all sin and make mistakes.  Look for forgiveness and learn from what you have done.  When we fail, we learn.  That is how I learned how to write software.  I would try something new, it would blow up and then I would try to figure out why it blew up.  This is how I learned to program computers.  I educated myself from my mistakes.

Love Dad